Mirroring: psychology tactic for effective cold emails

Mirroring is one of my favorite psychology methods to use in emails.

It instantly creates a connection between you and your reader, subtly signaling, "hey, we're alike." 

And it's an easy technique to use because you do it naturally.


So, what is mirroring?


Scientists call it limbic synchrony and it’s hardwired into the human brain. Its core function is to help humans survive. 


In fact, babies do it before birth. Their heartbeats and body functions adapt a rhythm that matches their mothers’. 


Think about it. 


Mirroring is how we learned 99% of our behavior: we copied our parents to learn how to eat, dress ourselves, drive a car, speak a language…


… the list goes on.  


In humans, mirror neurons reflect intentions and feelings. Because of that, they play a vital role in our ability to socialize and empathize with others. 


In other words, mirroring happens with someone you like or are interested in. 


When you mirror someone in a business relationship, you show empathy and connection. 


Two vital building blocks in a budding relationship. 


When a potential client feels like you understand them -- because you’re in sync with them (thanks mirroring!) -- they want to work with you.


How do you mirror in written communication?


You write in a specific way unique to you. As do I.


Consider the words and punctuation you use… 


…how you put them together, and even the visual aids you like. 


Think about text exchanges. 


My mom uses lots of emojis. Heart emojis, specifically. My dad probably doesn't have a clue what an emoji is.


I reply to my mom with emojis in my texts. 


Not to my dad.


That's mirroring: mimicking their communication style to create a sense of connection and understanding. 


How to use mirroring:


- > In a cold email: 


Mimic how that person formats and writes their email, even down to the salutation and sign off. 


Here’s a snippet from an email I wrote to Prerna Malik of Content Bistro. 


She’s heavy on emojis and invented hashtags. I’m not, but I used them in my email to her to signal connection:

- > In a sales email: 


Put your feelings, stories, problems in the email that your reader can relate to. Show them that you GET them. 


- > On a sales call: 


Mimic how your prospect holds their body. 


Research recommends that you only do a few gestures, otherwise it feels contrived and sends up red flags.


- > In email exchanges: 


Mimic how that person formats and writes their email… their tone and way they write sentences. Even down to the salutation and sign off.


In this email exchange with a potential client, I mimicked his sentence length, tone, salutation and lack of sign off:

Beware…


Don’t take mirroring too far or be too obvious about it. 


Mirroring is like salt: 


Best when used sparingly and tasting as you go. 


You’re amazing,

Laura


ps


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Featured photo source: Florian Klauer

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